Rational Suicide
The Only Choice Left?
By Michelle Eberwein
Rational suicide is a deeply considered decision made when a person faces agonizing, constant physical pain. Every day. Every hour. Every minute. This is pain that no treatment or therapy has been—or ever will be—able to relieve. It is not a decision made lightly by any means.The immense emotional pain is soul crushing. But it is the final decision of someone living with chronic illness or chronic pain with no possibility of relief of their suffering or quality of life. Ever. This choice emerges from years of enduring a broken body, failed surgeries, and relentless medical battles.
When Jessica Minerd-Massey appeared on my news feed, her story immediately caught my attention. At just 55 years old, she chose rational suicide—a deeply personal decision shaped by years of hardship. A single mother to two grown children, Jessica’s life took a drastic turn after a workplace accident in 2003 left her injured.
Jessica faced relentless medical challenges throughout her life, including numerous major surgeries, under-prescribed pain medications, and ongoing financial instability. Despite all she endured, she was still facing multiple additional surgeries in her near future: on her neck, a hernia repair, another total hip replacement, another back fusion, and a shoulder repair.
… and that’s just a little of what Jessica had been through and what she still faced ahead.
“I’ve had a lifetime total of nineteen major surgeries, of which I suffered from complications that ranged from mild to severe, during and after, with all but three or four of them. I’ve been coded (stopped breathing) twice while under general anesthesia, been mistakenly given incorrect medications, dosed with Narcan just hours after open back surgery, lost 20% of my bladder function, and more. Due to this, I’ve developed PTSD, which is why, along with loss of financial stability, I have decided to forgo further surgical treatment. I currently have several loose and broken screws in my most recent failed spinal fusion which is currently inoperable and causes further severe intractable pain. … I also developed AVN in both hips due to being overprescribed steroids. I’ve undergone one THR on my right hip and currently need another on my left. The AVN is now extremely advanced and extremely painful. … To summarize, I have several severely painful and progressive injuries/diseases that will not get better. This will only lead to further increases in pain and loss of mobility. It would also continue to increase my chance of a major stroke, heart attack/disease, Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT), or something else that could cause almost immediate incapacitation. …Now it’s 2023 and I’ve been unable to ambulate more than seven steps using two canes, while in extreme pain, for the past 16-18 months. … Very soon I’ll no longer be able to ambulate the seven steps from my power chair to my handicapped toilet seat. I haven’t had a shower in over a year and the last time I had my hair washed was ten months ago…. Because of all this, I’ve rationally chosen to end my life painlessly and quickly. This is a decision I’ve not made lightly and have researched for many hours. My family are aware of my choice and support it because they’ve watched me struggle … By the time anyone else reads this I will be dead. Yes, I am afraid of the unknown, but I am much more afraid of the known I have been living with for the past twenty years. … “ ~Jessica
(*AVN – avascular necrosis: a serious medical condition where bone tissue dies because it does not get enough blood.)
**To read Jessica’s full letter click the link** “I’m Planning Rational Suicide: Here’s Why” – Google Docs
What are your thoughts?
Copyright © 2023 Michelle Eberwein / Rational Suicide Florida
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